We have given Honeybeast a hard time. Now I will give you a chance to give me a hard time. Here are my-in no particular order-least favorite Thanksgiving dishes:

1. Green bean casserole. Didn’t eat it but a couple times growing up. The big kids and Denise love it. There is nothing offensive about it but shrug. Not a favorite-besides you can have it at other holidays. Actually, it would be ok, if no green veggie made it to my Thanksgiving table. (Though in honor of our vegetarian boy, sometimes vegan boy, who won’t actually be here-we have “Surprisingly Good Salad” on Thanksgiving…and like it)

2. Gravy. Huh? I don’t get it. At all. I buy a jar, because I care so little about it that it doesn’t seem worth the last minute prep. (Though I can make gravy just fine. Thanks. No, your special recipe won’t change my mind.) It harkens back to Saturday morning tv and “Don’t drown your food…” (This may be related to the fact that I don’t serve #4 on this list on Thanksgiving. I like gravy on my mashed potatoes-sometimes)

3. Pies. Already mentioned this though I do like a slice of pumpkin pie. I adore a piece of mincemeat pie-though not enough to actually make it and have everyone grouch. The rest of the pie parade? Save them for the rest of the year.

4. Mashed potatoes. Who came up with MASHED POTATOES for Thanksgiving? I had never even heard of such until about 10 years ago. Mashed potatoes aren’t special. They are an every day food.

5. Macaroni and Cheese. Again. Not a special Thanksgiving food-that is normal fare.

I made ham salad (along with ham mac and cheese-which I liked-but the kids didn’t) tonight as I made dinner. I remember loving ham salad as a kid but I hadn’t had a way to make it. But, we had a lot leftover ham-we bought a big ham on sale last week-had it for dinner Tuesday night. I served leftovers to Mama for lunch and dinner yesterday. Then tonight in the mac cheese-then made the ham salad.

Here is how-
Chopped/ground the ham in the Cuisinart chopper/grinder thing. It came out very fine. Then chopped a stalk of celery and an onion in there as well. Mixed with mayonnaise, relish. I may add a bit of mustard and more mayo in the morning. Perhaps a bit of Worcestershire sauce. We will see.

Ok…I know not everyone finds traditional foods as tasty as I do. No problem. But Honeybeast has gone too far!

5 Dishes I Wouldn’t Feed a Dog but I do eat to be polite on Thanksgiving

Surely there is some story behind that right? Childhood trauma maybe.

Some people have a lot of problems with pastry-I do not. Unfortunately, the clean up crew has a problem with the mess I make making pastry. Unfortunately, the clean up crew also DOES NOT LIKE pastry. It doesn’t matter what kind. Flakey, not flakey, doesn’t matter.

However, this one is an easy peasy one for all of you and pretty much the pastry I can make in my sleep. (Yes, I grew up with a biscuit recipe and a pastry recipe in my head) Use shortening. It is good for you. I am sure of it. It certainly makes a better crust.

Never Fail Pastry

1 cup sifted flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons water.
1/3 cup shortening

Sift flour and salt together into bowl. (Yes, I mean it-use the sifter. I know it says pre-sifted and modern folk don’t need to pay attention. Just do it. Your kids will love doing it even if you don’t). Measure 1/3 of mixture into a smaller bowl. Add water, stirring to a smooth paste. Cut shortening into flour mixture in the first bowl with pastry blender until like small peas. (oh forget the pastry blender-use a fork. Pastry blenders bug me.) Then stir flour paste into dough. Form dough into ball with hands. Chill if desired. Turn onto pastry cloth. (oh um I have never owned one of these- I toss some flour on the counter or cutting board or wax paper-especially if the kitchen is warm) Roll 1/8 inch thick. Fit into pie plate and flute the rim. Bake in a hot oven (450) for 15 minutes.

Non parenthetical instructions and actual measurements courtesy of Mary Meade 52 desserts of the week, Chicago Tribune, 194*.

Denise doesn’t do pie-except pumpkin. This time of year I could probably make a pumpkin pie daily and as long as I didn’t undercook it or burn it-she would be happy.

This recipe though-combines a gingersnap crust (I adore gingersnap crust!) into tarts-a bit tough if you have a big family to feed but a nice choice for a smaller one. Do note the uncooked egg portions-either use pasteurized eggs or skip serving to folks with sensitive immune systems.

Crust:
1 1/2 cups fine gingersnap crumbs
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup sugar

Filling
2 teaspoons unflavored gelatin
3 tablespoons cold water
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 eggs, separated
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/3 cup milk
1/3 cup sugar
Whipped cream
Pecans

To make crust, mix gingersnap crumbs, butter and sugar, blend well. Pack into bottoms and around sides of eight small tart pans. (What? No tart pans? Use a muffin tin. I do) Chill for 1/2 hour. Meanwhile prepare filling by softening gelatin in cold water for 5 minutes. Combine pumpkin, slightly beaten egg yolks, 1/3 cup sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg. Stir in the milk, mixing well. Cook in the top of double boiler until mixture thickens; remove from heat and add softened gelatin, blending thoroughly. Cool. Beat egg whites until stiff. Gradually beat in remaining sugar. Fold meringue into pumpkin mixture. Pour filling into crumb lined tart pans. Chill until firm. Pipe a whipped cream garnish around edges of tarts and sprinkle centers liberally with buttered, salted, toasted pecan meats.

From Mary Meade Recipes Booklet-from The Chicago Tribune. No date-sometime before 1950 based on other Mary Meade booklets I have.

For the last three weeks the commissary bananas have been green. Not “yum, yellow with a bit of green” or “Yellow, but should be ripe by Tuesday.” They were green, green, green. ALL GREEN. You know-the ones that will never ripen.

My mother has been having a yen for bananas. Oh well. But she was very grouchy when I told her that yet again there were no bananas. (like this would be something I wouldn’t buy for whatever reason.) Caregiving is fun! Woo hoo. The secret banana (and also avocado-really Mama out of season avocados here are rock hard and if we let them ripen in the house they become inedible)

So, we stopped by Trader Joe’s, they had bananas that were yellow-but they also looked like some horrid blight was upon them. We picked up a few but…what is going on with the bananas? Is this an Illinois thing? A result of the tropical storms/hurricanes/typhoons? That blight on banana plants much publicized a few years back?

Another in the realm of my family won’t consider this but…this one sounds pretty good. (If you like deviled ham and relish…and catsup. I would be tempted to choose a mustard in place of the catchup.)

Holiday Sandwich Package

1 2-pound loaf unsliced white bread
2 4 1/2 ounce cans deviled ham
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/2 cup chopped sweet pickle relish
2 tablespoons catsup
Radish roses

Cut out center of loaf leaving 1/2 inch shell around ends and sides. Slice bread thinly and spread with a mixture of deviled ham, relish, mayonnaise and catsup. Place sandwiches in bread shell and garnish with radishes. “Tie” loaf with holiday ribbon. Makes 24 small sandwiches.

Sandwich and Party Snack Cookbook, 1964

The oldest daughter up and got married last spring. Then she moved to Hawaii! That is pretty far away and we miss her. We also are unmoved by her grumbles when it rains and she has “bad weather.” Hello child. Your moms live in Illinois. A little rain and 75? Oh well.

I thought of her though when I saw this recipe–even though I can’t imagine what is “Beach Boy” about it. It sounds just like the Cranberry Holiday punch my mother served to “the kids” and the church ladies when I was a child. She threw some fresh oranges on top and froze some oranges and cranberries in the ice ring though.

Beach Boy Punch

Mix 1 quart cranberry juice, juice of two lemons, and 1 pint orange juice; pour into punch bowl over cake of ice. Add two quarts chilled ginger ale. Makes about 4 quarts.

Better Homes and Gardens Holiday Cookbook, 1959

Once upon a time I didn’t know @Haldechick. Denise read her blog. They had figured out we lived in the same town and commented on each others blogs. Nothing compelling I thought-kind of a hippy/hipster geek knitter Unitarian book lover. I read a post here and there. I didn’t pay attention.

Then came the fateful day I came upon a pair of socks.(Follow with me-it does get back to food) That day was March 8, 2007. How do I know what day I came upon a pair of socks? I saved it to the Extravagant Gift List that year. Look! Space Invaders Socks.

So gifted-Denise said something along the lines of “Hey, those are cool.” At which point I was struck by that madness that periodically strikes me and I decide that I can knit them. I declare such. Denise looked at me skeptically, no doubt. You see. I didn’t know how to knit.

My love wants socks. I shall make her socks! In time for sock day! Oh wait-sock day is April 12. I have just over a month to learn to knit and knit a pair of socks-not just any socks but Space Invaders socks. No problem. I can be dense sometimes about how good I am at learning stuff.

Denise suggested I ask her mother about making them. Her mother didn’t know about sock knitting and doubted my ability to pick up knitting that fast and suggested I give Denise a scarf. No. I want to make socks. Denise suggested I talk to Lorena about it. Lorena WHO? Haldechick. Or Sharon. Who?

We went to Michael’s. I bought some aluminum needles and sport weight blue yarn as well as the Stitch and Bitch book to learn with. The next day we went to my first stitch-y bitchy meeting at the used book store. People were nice. Really nice. I made a lot of rat hammocks. We had a rat at the time-Elvis. I eventually made a pair of socks-still haven’t learned how to make space invader socks though. More importantly we made friends.

One of those was Haldechick. Lorena. She is a sucker for my shortbread. She also rescued my knitting more times than you can imagine. We were pretty heartbroken when we moved-and even now-about leaving the “LYS ladies” in Gainesville. Really. It ranks up there above weather and below missing the big kids. She came and intro’d me to a new yarn store up here after we moved. (and to alpaca…)

Then last Christmas, we got a box. Yay! Yarn store box. Yay! Soap! (Lorena makes fab soap. Like snickerdoodle, fresh baked bread, and just for me sandalwood vanilla-though I am still after her for a sandalwood cedar juniper type soap)

And…Chex Mix. Hmmm. Ok. I had heard whispers about it. But…how good could a Chex Mix be? And nuts! Nuts are on my owie tummy list. Um yeah, well, about that. Denise however is a Chex Mix fan of sorts. And really, any food we don’t have to make and can eat immediately gets consumed. This is why every year after BlogHer our diet relies heavily on that year’s swag. (Yes, I am a food blogger but uh there are days and even weeks where I don’t actually cook-especially before my mother moved in) It was really prettily packaged Chex Mix and so FRIENDLY to send Chex Mix. We were sort of excited in spite of ourselves. (and really downright touched and giddy) But we put it down and I stuck the extra bars of soap in my drawer and one in the shower. Some time later it was opened. And fought over and eaten.

This was THE BEST CHEX MIX EVER. How could that be? Were we that homesick? (maybe but no) It just IS the best Chex Mix ever. Really. Even if you don’t do nuts. Or Chex Mix. Or you believe Chex Mix is that weird stuff that comes prepacked in shiny plastic bags in the store. (That in hardly any way resembles this)

Ok…so @haldechick has posted the recipe (and apparently did before) for Lorena’s Chex Mix. Make it. Really. Yes, I see. 10 Sticks of Real Butter. It is worth it.

My mother was asking what I was blogging this week. Oh, Thanksgiving stuff, I told her. She started rambling, bless her heart.

Here is the contents of her ramble:

Tell them when they make their ambrosia for Thanksgiving, because many people do, that they should cut the oranges in half to do it and hollow them out. (Me: We don’t make ambrosia. We make some fluff thing.) Then save the shells for mashed sweet potatoes. Mash your sweet potatoes with a little orange juice and fill the orange shells. Then you have individual servings and it looks so pretty.

So, while my family would rather die than eat mashed sweet potatoes and definitely not mashed sweet potatoes with orange juice, keep it in mind. She is right. It is a nice serving suggestion.