Happy Sock Day

On this day in 2001, you surprised me by declaring your love. I surprised you by spending the day building my first website for you. Proving I could do it all by myself. (ok–that and sending a million emails that you didn’t get because back in the day there was no mail on cell phones and driving Food Julia crazy)

Today you surprised me again, with a movie and dinner outing. Not only that–you drank cocktails! 2. A first in these many years. It was a special, extravagant movie outing–not run of the mill.

And as I type this–I realize that in these years you’ve made it so I don’t have to prove I don’t need any help and that I spend more time declaring my love.

Happy strange perfect anniversary my love. Happy sock day.

My Secret Foodie Life

Mama is out of town. I am sure she thinks that Denise and I are eating out at ALL THE PLACES we never take her to while she is gone. Mama will be out of town until May 1. She’s been gone since March 24. Sum total of eating out: I think we drove through McDonalds once. We ordered pizza/pasta in for the kids last night but we do that when they are here on Thursday nights anyway and they won’t be here this Thursday.

So I am cooking up a storm, right? No. Tonight I am having–soggy cereal. I mixed up three kinds for variety because I have had cereal night several times. Denise will be eating leftover pizza. Other fab meals have included microwaved veggie burgers and egg sandwiches. Instant mashed potatoes. No meals at all.

Yes, we live it up while she’s gone.

How to Make Rice Krispies Treats

Real Rice Krispies TreatI’ve been informed that our history is being lost through adulteration of Rice Krispies treats. I find this a shame because I LOVE homemade (and homemade only) Rice Krispies Treats. Unfortunately, I tend to make a mess of it and I really only want one. I would love to figure out a “rice Krispies treat in a mug recipe.” Maybe I will play with that idea.

Anyhow, before the original recipe gets lost to time–here you go. How to Make REAL Rice Krispies Treats

How to Make Rice Krispies Treats


  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1 (10 oz., about 40) pkg. regular marshmallows or 3 cups miniature marshmallows
  • 6 cups Kellogg's Rice Krispies cereal


  1. In a large saucepan, melt butter over low heat. Add the marshmallows and continue to stir until the marshmallows have completely melted. Remove from heat.
  2. Stir in the Kellogg's Rice Krispies-coating them well with the melted marshmallow mixture
  3. Butter a 9 x13 pan REALLY well. Seriously. Butter well. Don't use spray. Use softened butter or margarine. This is what makes them so good.
  4. Butter a spatula or large spoon. Spread Rice Krispies Marshmallow mixture in 9 x13 pan. Smash them evenly in the pan.
  5. Cut into squares (using buttered knife) when they cool.
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Gay enough?

So, there is a lot of chatter on social media and the media about laws that allow people to refuse service to gays and lesbians. And a lot of it centers around not serving gay people in restaurants. The ridiculousness of gay eating, the horror of “Jim Crow” laws (and I really dislike the comparison because well–that was horrific)
But, I am torn about the uproar. You see–this is not new. I am a lesbian who passes. No one gives a second glance to two women sharing a meal. Add in a crowd of children–sisters, friends, some times people even think my partner is my mother. Yeah, I may be called sir in the winter with my coat on.

Then there are occasions when we just don’t pass. Dealings with teachers at the children’s schools. Arranging play dates. That can all be one of those hold your breath and hope and pray moments. *think of the children* My kids get off somewhat easy on this one. But I imagine other couples do not and spend a lot of time hoping their kids make friends with progressive families. There were uncomfortable moments for ME…but I think the kids missed it. (You think the media is making a lot of Gay NFL players sharing the locker room–be a lesbian mother to girls who need help in a swim team locker room. Eyes down. No matter that I have no more interest in little girls than any other mother. I don’t want to upset the other moms.)
Then there is travel. We like cliche lesbians like our bed and breakfasts. We also like dumpy hotels. I used to plot travel based on PurpleRoofs.com. Your average chain dumpy hotel won’t care what you are as long as you have a credit card. Then there were ones you see by the roadside. They include keywords that you learn to avoid. “American” “Christian Family Values.” Why would I avoid them? I am a bleeding red white and blue proud of America person. Not only that, I am Christian and hope to pass Christian family values to my children. (The real ones. Not the “Christian Family Values” that are encoded in the phrase in quotes)
Yep. Here I am. A Christian American woman who knows to avoid those hotels.
And then there is this…last year when we went to Door County, Denise booked a room in a B & B. I’d lived in Wisconsin. I knew that there were parts of it that weren’t the liberal stronghold that Madison seems to be. I knew that the need for money in the off-season might mean no one would care. But I also knew that it might. I knew that the Mother/Daughter innkeepers might find us…unsettling to share a roof with. I suspect I was right though they were delightful and OMG the breakfasts. I’d stay there again in a heartbeat.

But, I know that money won’t always win out. I know there are hotels where we won’t be welcomed or if forced to serve us all–it won’t be the same. It is uncomfortable. I am sure it is uncomfortable on the other side of the coin.

I try to go with people meeting ME not “the LESBIAN.” It works. I think it was a long time before even some of our baristas learned we didn’t work together, but were a couple. By that point, they knew us.

I don’t know where to go with this really. Yes, I dislike the laws, the threat of laws, and all of the stupid wrapped up in them. (I mean seriously–have businessmen noticed that Gay men on average have the most disposable income?) All of your outrage though? The jokes about “Gay Eating” and proving you aren’t gay so you can dine out? I know they are meant to make light of horrid situations. But they sort of hurt…me. Because while I figure we pass at most meals–I know I reached my hand across to my love at dinner in the restaurant Valentine’s Week. I know I smiled at her in a way that wasn’t two friends out for a casual meal. So, yeah, sometimes I gay eat, whatever that means. I don’t need your jokes.