Another old post…things about me

So, Bad Luck Detective wants a list of some divisible by five number of things about us. I guess I better cooperate with her.

This despite the fact that:

1. I am not sure there are too many things people don’t know about me.

2. I never do these things anymore.

Ok, let’s see:

1. I once put the wrong eye color on my driver’s license application accidentally. This caused a 10 minute discussion with the guy asking for clarification about my eye color.

2. I can calculate the amount of time I have worked online by the age of one of my children.

3. I remodel, restock, and change my favorite bookstore in Florida in my head to be something that’s a cross between Charis books and Room of One’s Own books, but better. There is a strange blend in my head between those two, two bookstores of childhood and my fantasy bookstore amenities.I don’t want to WORK there though. That said: I loathe chain bookstores with a passion. I get overwhelmed in them, don’t like how they smell, don’t like the music, don’t like how the people in them act and don’t like the staff. I will often go in, get a pile of books, then abandon the books and leave.

4. I read constantly and average around a book a day (this surprises very few of you). I don’t actually like to OWN books though. Seriously, I could pare down my books to a dictionary, a Bible, a good collection of fairy tales, and a guide to fixing everything around the house and survival skills. Oh, and my book on the correct scripts for how to say things. Sentimentally, I probably couldn’t ditch my Bobbsey Twins collection. There are about 5 cookbooks I would miss if I ditched them.

5. I am annoyed that all newer books seem to have a gay or lesbian friend or couple as supporting characters. This despite the fact that I am a lesbian. Give me your heteronormative bodice ripper without the token gay friend. I really prefer it that way.

6. I love long car drives on my own and they help me think.

7. I once was pulled over for going over 100 mph. I talked the officer down to 99.

8. Until about 11 years ago, I was completely unaware of any behavior that would be classified as flirting.

9. It is unlikely that I will remember your name and face unless I have met you in person repeatedly. However, if I have ever talked to you in AIM/Google Chat/Twitter/Facebook, I will remember the oddest random facts about you. Really. There are people I have worked with over a decade ago that I have met in person and I won’t remember what they did, any detail of their actual work, or their children’s names, but I can tell you about their midnight snack, their truth in three truths and a lie, least favorite word, favorite candy.

10. Until about 9 years ago, people would constantly tell me I smelled good. Just random people (and Denise). I sort of miss it. Also, people touch my hair all the time. This has dropped off since moving to IL. I don’t miss that.

11. I make annoying (to other people) noises when I am thinking.

12. I also flap my hands when I get overwhelmed.

13. I sleep on my back with my hands folded across my chest.I started doing this after reading a quiz in something like “Woman’s World” when I was a teen “What does your sleeping position say about you?” I didn’t like my result so changed my sleeping position. Rumor has it that I also will put my knees up and cross one leg over the other.

14. I like rearranging furniture and the smell of lemon oil.

15. I periodically want to be a photographer, but hate the fact that the photos I take never show what I see. (iPhone 7+ has gotten me very close to this actually)

Trouble (Previously on BlogHer)

Trouble…
By TW on March 28, 2012

My daughter stands
next to my desk
utters those words
(the ones
that strike fear
in a mother’s heart.)

“I’m having trouble”

“with line breaks.”

I sigh
with relief.

Line breaks!
I can tackle those.
I think

I start in my head to
talk html, then

Stop.

“Line breaks?”
“My mentor” (poetry)
“says I need to consider
line breaks.”

Oh.
THAT kind.
I clarify.
She speaks
of Sentences.

Cringe
Fumble
(Could we talk
Sex? Relationships?
Drugs?
Easier!)

I pull up
Audre Lorde…
Diagram

(Never to Dream of Spiders)

I point to
June Jordan.

Really? Who better…
to teach line breaks?

Google.
Quote.

Teenage Stare.

Ask for an example–
Solid Ground.

She offers one
Quicksand.

txt doc time

I offer
Variations.

I change words
(Bad Mommy!)

Denise steps in. More
Variations.

Daughter likes these
Variations
Better.

I backseat drive

In the end
the point goes
to Denise.

(a lie)

Daughter gets the
point.
her poem
her search
for truth.

I pull out
Lucille Clifton
I point

Daughter complains
“No Caps”
Clifton – Poet Laureate

(know the rules-then break them)

Exit daughter

Enter poem
dancing in my head.
In the end.

Menu for the Week

Here is our menu for the week. It started Saturday, but I just am now posting it.
Saturday Pimento cheese chicken, garlic bread or ciabatta from freezer, salad (lettuce from last week)
Sunday-Melissa–Tapas (Cheese tour, meat tour, street corn, burrata, pickled vegetables. http://www.citywinery.com/chicago/restaurant-bar.html )
Monday-Chicken Fried steak, mashed potatoes, cream gravy
Tuesday-Hash brown Casserole
Wednesday – Birthday Dinner! Foreplay Funghi (No eggplant–crookneck instead) http://retro-food.com/2006/04/12/the-original-foreplay-funghi/
Thursday – Luau Pork, macaroni salad  http://www.chewoutloud.com/2015/09/16/slow-cooker-kalua-pork-giveaway/
Friday-Leftovers OR hot dogs, baked beans or bbq beans or just chips

Holidays and hashtags

I love nearly ALL holidays. #Talklikeapirate day excluded. But, go ahead and sign me up for #gruntledworkerday and family favorite #pigday. I even have a special Pi Plate for Pi Day.

Not only do I really love these reasons to celebrate, remember, acknowledge, special days and just plain silly days–I’ve been using them as themes at work since the Internet began. Ok, since the mid-90s. Back in the day, as we say around here–it didn’t MATTER that the holiday had a million character name. Sure, a slow internet connection might make lag a groaner for International Buy a Priest a Beer day (September 9), but you could use as many letters and words to get the point across as you needed.

In fact, with the right set up, you could probably get hundreds of interactions on that one holiday. Now though, we have Twitter. And that means…140 chars. Minus a link. Minus the chars for the pictures–because really a picture is what makes someone click over to the site. So, that leaves 94 characters plus or minus a few to come up with something to say about those things. Then subtract a tag–say #NationalDogWeek, you’ve got 78 letters and spaces to get your point across. Know what? I am pretty sure that your average Bob book has more.

So, if you have a holiday or hashtag–keep it short. Because I do want to share something about it.

%d bloggers like this: