Blogging. Some of us (ME) have pretty much forgotten about using our words on our blogs. We’ve got connectivity with other people all over the place. We can spend time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, in comments sections and just blindly reading and thinking, but not using our words. We can throw them in Facebook messenger, a zillion company and private groups, Google hangouts, Skype. We can do it from a desktop, laptop, phone, even on some airplanes we can be dialed IN to this huge world of words.
I’ve written thousands of words a day for years and years and years. But, you rarely see them as a whole, do you? Because you might follow me here or there. You might see them on Facebook or Twitter, if the algorithm and timing work out. You might follow the same people I follow on Facebook and see me talking there. You might even read me in comments at work. (though that is difficult in the diffuse way of commenting)
I feel like I say a lot. But, then I realized this week that I was saying nothing. I’d comment on the growth of your child, the cuteness of your dog, the post or status update you’d shared on Facebook. But where was I directing my words and why? Do they make a difference? Is it really what I am thinking about? With all these sources–just what WAS I thinking about? I was thinking about a lot of stuff out of my direct control. I was commenting on things where I just wasn’t making a difference. Sure, maybe I made a friend feel better or gave someone a smile. Mostly, though I just was part of the choir. Choirs are important. I am proud to be a part of some choirs. But others, why?
I just dulled my own thinking. I didn’t have to do anything REAL. I don’t feel in retrospect like any of that mattered. I unfollowed, not unfriended, a bunch of people for now. (Ok, I unfriended a bunch that came up after unfollowing a bunch and I had no idea why we were friends in the first place. I never had seen their updates. And looking at their feeds gave me that empty feeling.) I freed up a huge distraction from work, family, the things that mattered.
A strange thing happened, I found words again. A crazy, babbling, fountain. I want to blog. I want to talk deeply to the people who matter. I want to put into words things that are scary, beautiful, joyful, horrible, difficult, and just plain me. I am stripped bare again and instead of a nothingness, maybe I am finding my way back to the person I should be and should strive to improve my own excellence and those of others.
Maybe I can use that to remember what is important to me about words, about myself, about my life, my family, my love, and also why I blogged in the first place. I have words and I am going to try to use them for good. Real good instead of the instant gratification of a like or response.