I had a hard time with Daring Greatly… the newest in the BlogHer Book Club. When I requested to be part of the review team for it, I totally thought–easy peasy! I love this type of book. Brene Brown is my kind of woman.
Then came a tough month. Boy went to college. We got a new puppy. Actually, this is my FIRST puppy ever–I’ve always started with dogs before. I’ve been reading tons of dog training information because of this new family member. Nothing like dog training books (which like parenting books, all seem to contradict each other) to make you feel shamed for every misstep. Dog pulling on the leash? Your fault because you didn’t do it this way from the beginning! (of course another book says you should do it THIS way instead) Buy this leash! That leash! Do these things every day. Never. Always. SHAME ON YOU. Add a lack of sleep and you have vulnerability on tap.
Then the trip to see girlchild in her big girl apartment in a city I’ve never been in. (taking the puppy–so essentially traveling with a dog on a trip somewhere other than to see family at a house where I could just let the pooch out into their house/their yard and be done with the fuss.) Ugh. Then just before leaving, and worsening while I was there–toothache. Really horrible monster toothache. I toughed it out with over the counter pain relievers and copious quantities of toothache gels/liquids. (to the point where I mistakenly googled what happens when you OD on that sort of thing–it’s bad and not really that hard. eek! Who knew?) I ended up finding a new dentist when I got home.
The one we’ve been seeing here is nice and efficient but big into the shaming and her office is like a dental version of Supercuts–5 or 6 chairs lined up, minimal dividers, you can see everyone prone in their chairs getting worked on. I don’t know about you but being on my back with sharp things about definitely leads to vulnerable anyway. With twelve or more people about–just ugh.
So, I was in serious pain and found a new dentist. Vulnerable/shame/ugh on tap. I didn’t have a choice. Really “dead from tooth abscess” didn’t seem the thing I wanted people to be chatting about (and it does happen unfortunately). The dentist’s paperwork asked about what I’ve liked and not liked about past dental office. I actually dared greatly a bit because of the book and said that I don’t like the shaming and yelling that has happened at past dental offices. I worry about the cost. I worry about not understanding options and having no control really–but it is the shaming (soda? coffee? floss every single day multiple times? flouride rinse? mouthwash? never missing a cleaning? controlling my Crohn’s so it doesn’t destroy bone?) that leads me to avoid the dentist almost as much as the money issue. The dentist and staff haven’t mentioned what I said on the paperwork but they have been super kind even through oral surgery yesterday. (If anything in this post makes no sense, blame the fact that I am still super woozy and in pain.)
In any case, Daring Greatly was a hard read for me but a good one. I saw ways in which I hate feeling vulnerable and the associated feelings keep me from doing my best for myself, for my job, for my love, for my children. It is a hard book to read in one gulp–at least for me–but I will be revisiting it often. The section on parenting is great and so is the section on…oh wait…if you have a life? a job? a love life? children? no children? pet? ANYTHING? There is something applicable.
Put yourself out there, pick up the book and give it a try. I encourage you to also check out the discussions happening over the next few weeks at BlogHer related to the book. The book is ripe for the sort of great discussions that even without reading the book yet, you can get a lot out of participating.
This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.