Most people would think that the Life Well Lived question this time around would be right up my alley:
How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself? How does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?
If you looked at me today, you would know there is serious room for improvement. I have hair that needs a fresh cut in a serious, yes, it drags me down way. (I am aware that this happens to me so at least that’s a plus. I need to make a doctor’s appointment, yet stumble every time I try to move forward with getting through the maze of in-network vs not in-network. I have a broken crown and a bunch of neglected dental work. The hair though–that’s the key to knowing not all is good in my world. It’s the outward sign that I am flunking the “Love yourself and the world will love you” mantra that I live by. Yes, I really do.
I try to think loving thoughts for everyone. Yes, EVERYONE. I forgive easily. I move on.
The calendar in our bathroom has a monthly theme of affirmation. Each day I change my status update on Google Talk to a different affirmation about loving myself, my world, and all the good in it. I rock at that.
I let the past go and move forward. I don’t endlessly rehash the “time machine” questions anymore. Every negative thing has brought positive things. Wishing to fix those negatives would mean a different life, one not filled with the joys that surround me.
I stop myself (and other people, much to their annoyance) when the words come out saying or even thoughts “I’m stupid,” “I’m lazy” and “I’m ugly/fat/old.” Those words, even when referring to a momentarily mistake get ingrained into a pattern of criticism. Short-circuit that pattern. That criticism dialogue builds up inside you and around you and becomes something real.
It works. I am particularly good at the parts most people find challenging. I know deep down that I am worthy, creative, appreciated and loved. That brings more love. A happy, confident, appreciative woman creates an atmosphere where her family, co-workers, and the world around feel more comfortable expressing their love and appreciation.
It makes me a happier person. It keeps me on the right track. In the case of my status updates, a number of people have buzzed me to say that it helps them too. You know what that means? The people who I talk to on a regular basis get that reflected work toward self-acceptance and they have more love in their life. In any case, it is external reinforcement.
But, as I said at the beginning, I have room for improvement. The hair cut. I must make time for that bit of self-care. Once I do, believe it or not, the rest of the weight on my shoulders will lift as well. I will stop fretting about things I shoulda, coulda, woulda done. I stop dwelling on those things I can’t change.
Interested in reading more about self-acceptance? Visit Blogher’s Life Well Lived – Getting Happy. Enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes and you could (think “I WILL win”) a Kindle Fire and a $50.00 Amazon gift certificate to go with it.