Little Bit,

You, my youngest, Miss Lizzy, Elly belly, Little bit, Elizabeth, are 19 today. You made sure to mention you’d be waiting for your birthday post last night. They matter to you. They matter to me too. Every time you turn a year older, it is the last time I will be writing a post for that age. Somehow 19 feels MUCH older than 18 to me.

You’ve spent a year in college now. You’ve come home only for visits. I’ve been out there to visit. You have taken new jobs and talked endlessly about them. I smile as you tell me about the senior living people and the work you do there. I imagined freshmen coming to your intro-ducktion and hit with the force of your personality while you talked up language courses.

You go floating down the Willamette. You volunteer with the safe ride program. You made friends and had relationships. You hatched quail to keep on your apartment balcony for eggs. You go running into life.

You care deeply about others. We took you to Disney World as a surprise for your birthday–a bit early while you were here. You were surprised. You knew that it was hot, high season, and expensive. What else were we to do with Ellen’s dream closing and the Great Movie Ride that you didn’t even remember? At lunch that day though, Sunshine got nervous that their lunch wasn’t going to be vegan, though the waitstaff took note. You called the waiter back and were going to order a veggie burger just so you could trade with her. I was puzzled, because of how the seats are in the scifi drive in, I didn’t know the anxiety part. I did know something though: you are a meat eater. A very happy meat eater. But, you were going to help out Sunshine, because you cared. You send Momal cards and notes. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to her. Both these things mean a lot to me too. You’re sometimes wild, grouchy, and loud–but the caring–that will serve you well. It makes me proud of you.

You undoubtedly get up to all sorts of things you don’t tell me about away from home. I get to hear shadows of it in asides. I worry, but I also know from experience that you will call for help, and when things are rough. You are good at that. I appreciate it. I know you have a good head on your shoulders too. You may be prone to the impulsive things and all the bad judgment of youth–but you also think things out.

You found a reason to make great grades for yourself–so you did.

You also are the best one to curl up and take a nap with when you are home. You share new things with me. I mean, I am sure that I would have never watched one minute of Ru Paul’s Drag Race without you. (Or you know–Hannah Montana for that matter) I definitely wouldn’t have gone to a Christmas drag show spectacular with Milk and the rest.

You love your dogs too. We could have stayed home when you came for summer break. You would have been happy enough with Skeeter. (She’s been ours for 5 years now) Buster even loves you. (and of course, you’d be happy to yell at Lola for face-licking)

Most of all baby girl, you bring an endless amount of love and joy into our lives. I am so glad you came into this world and changed it for the better. I love you.


I made my friend Sharon put a fresh post her blog for BlogHer. (My standard BlogHer advice. Have a fresh post on your blog.) You should read it. She’s a newbie this year. Sharon is also the sort of awesome friend you want to have: A BlogHer Introduction. Of course, I then thought I should eat my own dog food as it were and post a bit as well. Here goes:

I am headed to BlogHer17. I have only missed two BlogHer conferences. The first one and the one last year. I am going because it is close and because I missed the people. The ones I have known for years and meeting new people.

BlogHer is in my backyard this year. Yay Orlando. This makes getting there easy. Also, it means we will be near Disney and I’ve coaxed Denise into some Disney time. I think she is actually excited. I will probably regret that because OMG, tired after BlogHer doings.

Oh…another reason I am going this year:

Yes! I am speaking. I will be on the How to Navigate Mental Health Issues Online and Offline panel. Some of you may be asking “What?” “Why?” I may have asked the same thing. You know why? Because my day job is community manager. Yes. I manage communities. I am good at it. Even great at it. I know managing the crisis situations, the dos and don’ts and all things community related. Or at least how I do them, which is clearly right. 😉 The original description had a bit more about online communities and how to keep yourself safe and all that

I also hope to get a bit of inspiration to figure out if I am just a social media influencer or if I want to be a steady blogger again.

Another old post…things about me

So, Bad Luck Detective wants a list of some divisible by five number of things about us. I guess I better cooperate with her.

This despite the fact that:

1. I am not sure there are too many things people don’t know about me.

2. I never do these things anymore.

Ok, let’s see:

1. I once put the wrong eye color on my driver’s license application accidentally. This caused a 10 minute discussion with the guy asking for clarification about my eye color.

2. I can calculate the amount of time I have worked online by the age of one of my children.

3. I remodel, restock, and change my favorite bookstore in Florida in my head to be something that’s a cross between Charis books and Room of One’s Own books, but better. There is a strange blend in my head between those two, two bookstores of childhood and my fantasy bookstore amenities.I don’t want to WORK there though. That said: I loathe chain bookstores with a passion. I get overwhelmed in them, don’t like how they smell, don’t like the music, don’t like how the people in them act and don’t like the staff. I will often go in, get a pile of books, then abandon the books and leave.

4. I read constantly and average around a book a day (this surprises very few of you). I don’t actually like to OWN books though. Seriously, I could pare down my books to a dictionary, a Bible, a good collection of fairy tales, and a guide to fixing everything around the house and survival skills. Oh, and my book on the correct scripts for how to say things. Sentimentally, I probably couldn’t ditch my Bobbsey Twins collection. There are about 5 cookbooks I would miss if I ditched them.

5. I am annoyed that all newer books seem to have a gay or lesbian friend or couple as supporting characters. This despite the fact that I am a lesbian. Give me your heteronormative bodice ripper without the token gay friend. I really prefer it that way.

6. I love long car drives on my own and they help me think.

7. I once was pulled over for going over 100 mph. I talked the officer down to 99.

8. Until about 11 years ago, I was completely unaware of any behavior that would be classified as flirting.

9. It is unlikely that I will remember your name and face unless I have met you in person repeatedly. However, if I have ever talked to you in AIM/Google Chat/Twitter/Facebook, I will remember the oddest random facts about you. Really. There are people I have worked with over a decade ago that I have met in person and I won’t remember what they did, any detail of their actual work, or their children’s names, but I can tell you about their midnight snack, their truth in three truths and a lie, least favorite word, favorite candy.

10. Until about 9 years ago, people would constantly tell me I smelled good. Just random people (and Denise). I sort of miss it. Also, people touch my hair all the time. This has dropped off since moving to IL. I don’t miss that.

11. I make annoying (to other people) noises when I am thinking.

12. I also flap my hands when I get overwhelmed.

13. I sleep on my back with my hands folded across my chest.I started doing this after reading a quiz in something like “Woman’s World” when I was a teen “What does your sleeping position say about you?” I didn’t like my result so changed my sleeping position. Rumor has it that I also will put my knees up and cross one leg over the other.

14. I like rearranging furniture and the smell of lemon oil.

15. I periodically want to be a photographer, but hate the fact that the photos I take never show what I see. (iPhone 7+ has gotten me very close to this actually)

Trouble (Previously on BlogHer)

By TW on March 28, 2012

My daughter stands
next to my desk
utters those words
(the ones
that strike fear
in a mother’s heart.)

“I’m having trouble”

“with line breaks.”

I sigh
with relief.

Line breaks!
I can tackle those.
I think

I start in my head to
talk html, then


“Line breaks?”
“My mentor” (poetry)
“says I need to consider
line breaks.”

THAT kind.
I clarify.
She speaks
of Sentences.

(Could we talk
Sex? Relationships?

I pull up
Audre Lorde…

(Never to Dream of Spiders)

I point to
June Jordan.

Really? Who better…
to teach line breaks?


Teenage Stare.

Ask for an example–
Solid Ground.

She offers one

txt doc time

I offer

I change words
(Bad Mommy!)

Denise steps in. More

Daughter likes these

I backseat drive

In the end
the point goes
to Denise.

(a lie)

Daughter gets the
her poem
her search
for truth.

I pull out
Lucille Clifton
I point

Daughter complains
“No Caps”
Clifton – Poet Laureate

(know the rules-then break them)

Exit daughter

Enter poem
dancing in my head.
In the end.

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